Why isn't your wife as keen on sex as you'd like her to be? Discover the eye-opening reasons behind this common marital issue as Cody Butler, founder of Better Marriage, breaks down the truth with a thought-provoking analogy. Imagine going on a dinner date where you never get to enjoy your meal—this is how sex often feels for many wives in troubled marriages. Cody's candid and faith-based advice will challenge your perspective and provide actionable steps to rekindle the passion and intimacy in your relationship.
Get ready for some tough love and transformative insights. Cody Butler doesn't sugarcoat the realities of marital sex problems, offering a no-nonsense solution to improve your intimate life. Understand why your wife might be having a negative experience and how you can turn things around by focusing on mutual satisfaction. This episode is a must-listen for anyone serious about enhancing their marriage and enjoying a more fulfilling sex life. Join us to learn how to become the partner your wife truly desires.
Why isn't your wife as keen on sex as you'd like her to be? Discover the eye-opening reasons behind this common marital issue as Cody Butler, founder of Better Marriage, breaks down the truth with a thought-provoking analogy. Imagine going on a dinner date where you never get to enjoy your meal—this is how sex often feels for many wives in troubled marriages. Cody's candid and faith-based advice will challenge your perspective and provide actionable steps to rekindle the passion and intimacy in your relationship.
Get ready for some tough love and transformative insights. Cody Butler doesn't sugarcoat the realities of marital sex problems, offering a no-nonsense solution to improve your intimate life. Understand why your wife might be having a negative experience and how you can turn things around by focusing on mutual satisfaction. This episode is a must-listen for anyone serious about enhancing their marriage and enjoying a more fulfilling sex life. Join us to learn how to become the partner your wife truly desires.
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So there are sex problems within the marriage. Maybe your wife's not giving you any sex at all, maybe she's not giving you enough that you would like, or maybe she's just not initiating it as much as you would like. Well, I'm going to share with you how to solve all of those problems in this video today. It's an easy solution. Now, before we get going, my name is Cody Butler and I'm the founder of Better Marriage, and I want to share with you a faith-based solution to all of these problems. So trigger alert if you're easily triggered and offended, please don't watch this video. It isn't going to be for you. I'm going to say some stuff you're probably not going to like, starting with this If your wife's not giving you sex, or she's not giving you as much sex as you would like, then the problem is you probably suck at it. Now, I don't say that to be mean. I say it because if we want to understand the solution, we've got to understand the problem. And if she's not giving you sex or she's not initiating, it is because she's getting very little, if anything, out of it, and probably even a negative experience. So I want to highlight what sex is like for a woman within a marriage.
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Within a quick story, now, imagine your wife asking you for a dinner date every week as part of the healthy marriage, and part of that is going out to a restaurant. Now you go to this restaurant every week and the same thing happens. You get there and you both order your food. Now her starter comes out and it's some duck pate with crackers. And she eats those crackers and she goes wow, that was amazing, that was delicious. But your food? The waitress doesn't bring your food out. So then the waitress shows up and she takes the starter away and brings out the main course of steak for your wife. But you don't get a steak, you don't. She doesn't even bring your starter out yet and your wife sits there and she digs into it. She goes that's the most amazing steak that I've ever eaten. It was wonderful, it was fantastic. Then the waitress comes and takes the plate away and brings dessert. Now, you haven't even got your starter yet and she still doesn't bring your food. And your wife sits there and she eats her creme brulee and she goes that is the most wonderfully silky creme brulee I've ever had in my life. It was amazing. And then the waitress comes again and she says well, can I get you a cup of coffee? And your wife goes that would be absolutely delightful, I'd love a cappuccino, please. And the waitress brings the cappuccino. Your food still hasn't arrived.
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At this point You're just sitting there watching your wife eat, absolutely dying of starvation. And as your wife just about finishes her coffee, out comes your starter some mozzarella sticks, some cheese sticks. And the waitress goes there's your starter, sir. You pick up the cheese stick, have one bite of the cheese stick. And your wife goes okay, I'm done, let's go. And that is the end of the day. Now you get in the car and your wife goes wow, that was amazing. We're so good together. That was so amazing. You're the best, you are absolutely the best. And you're just sitting there absolutely starving to death, having watched her eat her food and you only having one tiny little bite of a cheese stick.
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Now imagine that happening every single week for 20 years. Let me ask you a question how enthusiastic are you going to be about going to that restaurant for a dinner date If, every single time you go, you know you're just going to sit there and watch your wife eat? You're going to get hungrier and hungrier watching her eat delicious food and then, as your food comes out, you get a tiny, tiny little bite, tiny little morsel, and then she drags you out and the way home she tells you how wonderful you are together and how amazing you are. Well, that's what's going on in your sex life. That's why she doesn't want to have sex. That's why she doesn't initiate sex, because that's what's happening. She's getting very little, if anything, out of it. She's getting a tiny little bite where you eat a five-course meal and at the end of it you go wow, that was amazing. You're so wonderful, You're so good. And she's sitting there thinking what the hell are you talking about? I got nothing out of that. I'm starved. All I did was get to sit there and be tortured by watching you eat.
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Now that, as I say, is what is going on, and if you want your wife to enjoy sex, then we've got to move beyond that. We've got to understand that that's going on. Now the ego is going to kick in here and I said this is a trickle warning. Right, you're going to go, I'm good at it, or this or that or whatever. But the reality is, if she doesn't want to give it, there's nothing wrong with her. Women are very sexual creatures. It's not that there's something wrong with her that needs fixing. There's something wrong with the experience.
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Now, let's look at the experience now again different expectations. If you want a woman to have sex with you more often, if you want to initiate it, well, let me ask you a question is she going to have sex with you for her reasons or is she going to have sex with you for your reasons? Now, if she's a good, good woman, obedient, one faith-based woman, maybe she's giving you sex because she feels obligated to you. But is that what you want? No, I, I hope not. I don't want my wife to give me sex just because she feels obligated. I want her to do it because she wants to do it and I would like for her to initiate it now. If she's not initiating it and she's not doing it, it's because she's getting nothing out of it, or even worse, and we've got to look at that and say, well, I'm just not very good at it.
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Now, sex is different for a woman. We've got to look at if we want to give woman a woman, your wife, a good sexual experience. Here's how you do it. Women don't have sex, they make love. You've got to understand that right. Men have sex, women make love big, big difference.
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Now let's look at the term making love. If you want your wife to initiate sex, if you want more of it, then you have to get good at making love. Now, what does making love mean? Well, we could use it in the same term as making cake making a cake. You got to get good at making a cake. Now love making love is the act of making love. It's's not sex, it's the act of making love.
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Now, the the definition of love that I use I'm going to pull it up on my phone here, so I don't misquote is the bible and, of course, corinthians 13, 4 through 7, and it goes love is patient, love is kind, love does not envy, it does not boast, it's not proud, it does not dishonor, it's not self-seeking, it's not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoice with truth. It always protects, it always trusts, it always hopes and it always preserves. That is love. Now, if you want to make love with your wife, those are the things that you have to do. Are you you being patient? Are you making kindness? Are you making forgiveness? Are you holding no memory? Are you creating all of that characteristics that the love verse tells us that love is? If you are creating an environment of patience, you're making love. If you're creating an environment of selflessness, you are making love. If you are creating an environment of selflessness, you are making love. If you are creating an environment of forgiveness, you are making love.
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And for a woman, sex is the end result of making love. You have to make love to your wife, and making love for a woman is a 10, 12, 14-hour experience. Making love for a man is a five-minute experience and making love for a woman is a five-minute experience. And making love for a woman is not sex. Sex is the end result of it, but for a man, sex is the experience. That's the difference. So the solution here is to start to make love to your wife and not to want to have sex with her. She is not going to initiate sex. She is not going to do what you want to do unless you learn how to make love to her Now. If you want to know more about this, if that makes sense to you, then check out some resources links in the descriptions, give us a like, give us a share and leave a comment what you think about that, if you agree with that, if you disagree with that, what are your thoughts on that? So, until the next time, god bless you Amen.
