The Marriage Transformation Podcast
The Marriage Transformation Podcast
Building Gratitude in Relationships
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What if the secret to a fulfilling relationship was simply to have more fun together? In our latest episode, we explore the essential elements that shift relationships from emotionally taxing to lighthearted and joyous. We discuss the impact of unconditional positive regard, the importance of de-escalation and validation, and cultivating an attitude of gratitude. Discover how these principles can help you foster a more appreciative and enjoyable partnership, steering clear of the pitfalls of constant invalidation and conflict.
Letting go of preconceived notions about your soulmate can open doors to unexpected and beautiful outcomes. Just as a GPS recalculates its route, staying flexible and open-hearted can lead to deeper connections and reconciliation with your partner. This episode is packed with insights and practical tips to help you embrace the unpredictability of love and maintain a supportive, carefree relationship. Tune in and learn how to navigate the journey of love with an open mind and a playful spirit.
And we've got all of the principles and pillars and stuff in the program unconditional positive regard, attitude of gratitude, heart of the servant, de-escalation, validation. Well, what do all these things point towards? It's just the map to how do you have just a lighthearted, fun relationship. I'm just going to be grateful for our time together. I'm just going to appreciate our time together. I'm just here to help you have a good time. I'm just here to have a good time with you.
Speaker 1:Escalation, de-escalate what is escalation? It's heavy, right? If every time a conversation comes up there's the possibility of escalation, it's because it's heavy. There's an emotional tax that has to be paid in every conversation. Invalidation, like if we're invalidating the other person.
Speaker 1:Well, how much fun is it to be around somebody that's invalidating you all the time, that's telling you you're wrong all the time? You know who likes to be around people that can't be wrong or or even worse, somebody that's got a real inferiority complex, and the way they get their kicks, you know they feel they become. They have to make you wrong so they feel good about themselves, right? You know, some of us are in that category. I've been in that category. I probably still am in that category to some extent it's like I probably argue points too much sometimes because I feel like, unless I can show somebody I'm intellectually superior, there's something wrong with me. You know, we're all there to some extent, so it's just a case of let's make this fun. You know, it's just a case of let's make this fun. Yeah, she's not. It's not over, colin, it's not over by any stretch of the imagination. The iteration of your marriage as it is is over, as it should be. Like, I'm sure that you would not. You know you would not. You know, if you're the judge and jury, you would not condemn your wife to a life of her current, existing existence.
Speaker 1:What ruins the outcome is that, like, we've got to know every step of the process and we've got to know, like, for many of you that are going to reconcile with your wives, it's not going to happen how you think it's going to happen, and it's not going to happen when you think it's going to happen and it's not going to happen for the reasons that you think it's going to happen. Yeah, and I remember I was reading a book a long time ago and it was about talking about, like, finding a wife, something like that along those lines, finding a partner, and it said that the biggest obstacle in that most men have in finding a lifelong partner or soulmate is that their soulmate doesn't look like they think they're going to. So they're looking for something that it's not going to be. You know, they think they have this preconceived idea that their soulmate is going to look a certain way or have certain characteristics, and the reality is your soulmate isn't going to look like who you think they're going to look like and therefore you could be stood next to your soulmate in a line and you're not open to that because you've got these preconceived ideas that are wrong. And the same is very much true here.
Speaker 1:It's like you just you just got to let go. In the same way that when you put a destination into a sat nav, you just know it's going to take you there and if it goes off course, it's going to go recalculate, recalculate, recalculate. Or if you miss a turning, it's going to go recalculate, recalculate. You make a mistake, it's going to go recalculate, recalculate, but ultimately it doesn't matter.
Speaker 1:You can't screw it up bad enough to where it's like being detached is not letting go of the outcome. It's like the outcome is to get your wife back 100, 100. The detachment is letting go of the path that's going to get you there. You like I say you don't. You don't know how it's going to happen yet. You don't know when it's going to happen. You don't know where it's going to happen and it's probably probably going to happen in many ways. That really hasn't even entered into your mind yet. And the best way to really understand this stuff or really the only way you can understand this stuff, to be honest with you is you do it and then you get the understanding. You don't get the understanding and then you do it.