The Marriage Transformation Podcast
The Marriage Transformation Podcast
Small Acts Big Impact on Relationships
Visit https://go.bettermarriage.co/trauma for some free training.
Ever wondered why your heartfelt notes seem to mean more to your partner than an extravagant gift? Join us as we unravel the mystery behind why thoughtful gestures hold more weight in relationships than monetary value. Listen to humorous and touching personal anecdotes that highlight the power of small, meaningful actions—like a handwritten gift certificate for conversation or a playful breakfast in bed setup.
Find out how these little efforts can outshine even the priciest gifts by showing genuine understanding and care. We'll share practical advice and real-life examples that demonstrate how you can surprise your partner in ways that money simply can't. Discover the importance of knowing what your partner values most and how a muesli bar and bottled water can create a memorable moment. This episode is a heartfelt reminder that it's not about the cost but the thoughtfulness that truly counts.
Look, it's not a lack of effort that she wants. It's like she wants thought, not the size of gift. For men, size matters, right, like I don't really care about how much thoughtfulness went into it. If you want to thoughtlessly buy me a Tesla, that's going to mean more to me than you thoughtfully buy me a book. That's the way that works. It's like size matters for men. Size does not matter for women. You could buy a woman a Tesla, which is just throwing money at the situation, or you could thoughtfully buy her a book and that you know that honestly, that's like that's almost always. My recommendation is like buy her a book on a subject that she's talked about, that she doesn't think you've listened to her about. Get a book that says I understand. This shows that I understand you, you know, and it's like, honestly, you could do something.
Speaker 0:Like last Valentine's Day, I just hand wrote a little note and I said that and made it like a gift card, like really sloppy man, it's like I made no effort with it at all, and it basically said the owner of this gift card is entitled to 60 minutes of conversation on any topic of their choice. I just gave her that. That was my gift. She held it, she goes, I'm not going to use it today. I'm like, yeah, just keep it for whenever you need it. And then, that way, like anytime you want to talk, and I don't think you can bust it out. And then, like you know, sure enough, like three months later, she's like I'm going to use my gift certificate today. I'm just like, oh, I just want to watch a movie. But like she's got a gift certificate lot further than me buying her a Tesla. I bought a Tag Heuer watch once. It was like five grand. We ended up taking it back. It's like she just didn't care. It's like they just don't care.
Speaker 0:Basically, she's saying, not that I don't want you to make effort. It's like effort is not spending money. That's not effort, that's the easy way out. Right, spending money is the easy way out. The effort is like well, what is she going to respond? What's going to blow her mind? You know what's she going to look at and go.
Speaker 0:Didn't see that one come in in a good way, or that's pretty spectacular. I mean, this morning I took my wife, I got a tray and I got a muesli bar and a bottle of bottled water and took it into the bedroom and said breakfast in bed for my Valentine. She's like breakfast in bed. Huh, I'm like. There you go. I'm like we got to start somewhere, sweetheart. She goes. Yeah, it's like because it's kind of funny, but at the same time it's just, it's an acknowledgement.
Speaker 0:You know, I could. I could have taken her out to a hundred dollar breakfast buffet somewhere well, not where I live, but if I was in Sydney or somewhere and just it would have meant very little whereas you just do something little, you know bottle of water and a muesli bar. You're almost making fun of the fact that you're not making effort, but you're making effort Like she goes. Oh, that was cute. You tried to make me laugh. That's cute. Priceless dude. That's going to get you so much more than taking her out to dinner or whatever. So just think, what can I do that's going to blow her away. I mean, even take that.
Speaker 0:You know the owner of this gift certificate is entitled to 60 minutes of conversation of their choice anytime. They choose a muesli bar and a bottle of water and go all out. So I mean, obviously I don't know your woman, my woman would respond quite well to that, but like it can be like quite nice because she just goes. Oh, you know that's. You made an effort, you tried to make me laugh and again, it's just lightheartedness, right, it's comedy. It's like there's no emotional tax associated with that. There's no emotional tax associated with that, there's no emotional tax. It's not heavy, it's just funny. It's like you're just trying to make her laugh and then if she goes, oh you know, this is what I get, and you go. Well, I was going to make a reservation for the finest restaurant money can buy. It's not too late, you know and then she's going to be significantly more open.