The Marriage Transformation Podcast
The Marriage Transformation Podcast
Transforming Conflict into Connection: The Art of Communication in Relationships
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What if the key to resolving conflicts in your marriage lies not in who’s right or wrong, but in how you communicate? Join us as we unravel the art of communication that shifts the focus from conflict to connection. We promise you'll walk away with insights that could transform your relationships, turning misunderstandings into meaningful conversations. Our discussion kicks off with a provocative question: Have you ever set out to hurt your partner at the start of your day? The answer might surprise you and set the stage for understanding the roots of miscommunication.
In this enlightening episode, we challenge the conventional mindset that often pits partners against each other in a battle of right versus wrong. Instead, we champion a curious approach to dialogue, one that seeks to learn and understand. Imagine engaging in a conversation where the goal is not to win but to grow together. We explore how substituting the need to be understood with the desire to understand can lead to groundbreaking reconciliation. Whether you're navigating marriage or any relationship, tune in for transformative strategies that advocate for communication as a tool for connection rather than division.
What are some of the particular techniques couples can use to improve an open, honest communication in their marriage? Great, great, great question. So there's a couple of parts to the answer. So the first question when I'm working with a couple, I'll ask them both the question. Question to both of them have either of you woken up in the morning and gone? I'm going to be a real dickhead and hurt my partner today. I'm going to intentionally set out to hurt my partner and, of course, the answer is I've never had a yes to that. No one's ever woken up and gone. I'm going to be a real dickhead and hurt my partner today.
Speaker 1:Okay, so neither one of you started the day with the intention of hurting each other, yet you hurt each other. So can we agree that the hurt came out of a miscommunication somewhere? Can we see that the hurt was not personal, or the or the the offense was not personal. Neither of you started the day with the intention of hurting each other, yet you did so can we agree that it was a miscommunication? And the answer is always yes. It's like. So the secret to the, the reconciliation, is in the communication, isn't it? It's not in. It's not in the issue that the story that we're telling about what happened. It's in the way that the story was communicated to each other.
Speaker 1:So the next part of that is going to be we're taught I don't I say in the west, I don't know about other cultures, but I know we're taught for sure that we, we communicate in a right wrong paradigm. I'm right, you're wrong. I'm right, you're, it's, it's, we're in opposition to each other. But you don't have to communicate in a right wrong paradigm. There is another option. The other option is what can I learn from you, amanda? We're going to have some views we don't agree on for sure 100. But you know, it's like the traditional form of communication is we're going to go into a right wrong paradigm and we're going to, we're going to debate each other and there'll be a winner and there'll be a loser.
Speaker 1:But it's like the better question is well, you had this belief, amanda. It's different to mine, but maybe I'm wrong. Can you help me see why you have that belief, because maybe there's some validity to it. Wow, and it's basically it's. We communicate, I say in a marriage, but period. We communicate. Period, most of us in a lower state, before we're able to reach a high state of sophistication. We communicate to be understood, not to understand.